"I Help Clients Learn to Communicate about Sex and Intimacy"
It is an honor to help a couple discuss this very private aspect of their lives in a confidential and respectful manner. Clients tell me that they relate very well to how
I structure our conversations about intimacy and sex, and that they are surprised about how comfortable they feel discussing this topic with someone they have never met before. My clients also appreciate the blend of sex education and sex therapy from our sessions, and usually find it interesting to learn than half of all adults experience a sexual challenge at some point in their lives. Since I am also trained in Couples Therapy, I can address the whole picture to help a couple understand how sex and intimacy issues may be affecting their greater dynamic. So many people suffer in silence with sexual challenges, when in many cases; relatively short-term sex therapy could restore them to sexual satisfaction as individuals and with their partners. Remember, a healthy and satisfying sex life gives our minds and hearts a boost and floods our bodies with healthy hormonal releases, which also helps boost our immunity and overall health.
Some clients tell me that they don't want or need sex anymore, or that they want it on a very infrequent basis. Some have underlying issues such as: low testosterone or estrogen, chronic pain, depression and/or weight or body image issues, and MANY have “emotional distance” in their relationship that delivers the " I don't need/want sex signal". In some cases, there may be sexual trauma that occurred that has never been shared and/or properly treated.
I hear on a daily basis how one member of a couple discusses their sadness over the loss of sex in the relationship and the other member of the couple states their reasons for not having sex.
Many people feel sad and hurt that they do not see their partners’ body responding in a positive way during intimate moments, and they begin to feel like their partner isn’t enjoying their connection, and sometimes they blame themselves and/or their partner. We will develop a plan to ask for clarity from your partner before you assume that they aren’t enjoying the physical and emotional connection during sex.
Clients feel glad to hear about the term arousal non-concordance, which means that your mind might be turned on for your partner but your body is not responding. Is this normal to occasionally happen? Yes… it…is! Sometimes, it’s necessary to refer clients to see other medical professionals to rule out physical causation to what they are experiencing. I can also collaborate with your Gynecologist, Urologist and/or other medical professionals to provide you with a continuum of care.
The process of becoming aroused is a dual process where you are essentially turning on those “on” buttons in your body and brain for sex and turning “off” those off buttons. I work with clients to develop strategies to minimize the things in their lives that are causing them to hit the “brakes” for sex. We will also discuss the impact of stress and the correlation to sex avoidance, and that when you are stressed, your brain will interpret any sensation, even a positive one, as something to be avoided.
I work carefully and respectfully with couples and individuals regarding issues of: sexual desire and functioning, guilt about sex, low sex drive, erectile problems, vaginismus, mismatched sexual desire, inability to orgasm, hormonal issues, infidelity, sexually transmitted diseases, sexual trauma, perimenopause and menopause, chronic pain, identify how medications and/or legal or illegal drugs affect sex, identify the effect of drinking excessively, smoking, and/or lack of exercise and sex, and to identify how a major medical event can affect sexual functioning, including: diabetes, surgery, cancer, etc.
"Male Menopause" - Did you know that men go through a process called andropause, commonly referred to as male menopause, and most have never heard of this phrase and are surprised that their body goes through this?
Member of American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).
By attending ongoing AASECT Approved Professional Development trainings, I keep abreast of the most current research and treatment modalities.